Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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