omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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