Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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