it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
