porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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