Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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