I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you had me at cake vodka
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am naked and annoyed.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
