BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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