and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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