Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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