We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just blew my weed a kiss
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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