Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
