bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
