Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
