she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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