We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
