is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
