after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
