stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
