I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
