I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
