Yo dont text me then not text me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
