why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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