I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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