Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Randomize
