You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
