she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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