There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
