just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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