the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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