i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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