please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
