my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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