dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
