That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize