He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
