ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
