Tell her she can't have a vagina
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
