Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
