She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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