Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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