oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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