Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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