I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
