I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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