I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
