Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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