i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
handjob tips. give me some.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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