worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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