I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
